How can you feel positive...

... if you always look at the negative? For those of you that know me as a person, and not just as words on a screen, will hopefully think that I normally express a happy positive outlook at life. This doesn't mean my head is stuck in the sand and I don't acknowledge that there are terrible things going on all around me, it just means that I choose to spend my energy thinking positively.

There is one BIG flaw in my positive thinking strategy. More often than not I think negatively about myself. While I can come up with several reasons, scenarios or possibilities on why another person may say or act a certain way, I'm not willing to look for those reasons in my own life. Enough on that thought for now, I had something else on my mind to share.

While it is more evident during a political campaign season, negativity grows and spreads like wildfire if we allow it to gain a foothold in our life. While making my weekly trip to Ohio last night I was looking forward to one of my favorite landmarks. A large crane flying an American Flag. This flag is huge and when the weather is just right, it waves across a bold blue sky. For weeks this sight as filled me with Patriotism and a sense of pride for my Country. A Country that is struggling to hang onto its founding beliefs and freedoms, but a Country that I'm still glad to call mine. Of course being that it is only 1.5 months away from a Presidential Election, there were campaign signs all around too but this didn't bother me since one of the freedoms we enjoy is the right to support and elect our leaders.

Last night, this beautiful Flag and blue sky was tarnished just enough to spread some negativity in my life. As I was driving by I noticed a banner had been added to the crane. This banner did not support a candidate but instead vilified the opposing candidate. I was instantly reminded of childhood playgrounds where name calling and cooties were a real thing. (On a side note, why is it that childhood behavior of name calling and picking on someone is considered bullying but as adults it is considered freedom of speech?) My uplifting moment of observing this beautiful American Flag, and all she stands for, has now been damaged by negativity. Do I agree with what the banner said? I believe it was accurate and truthful but does that really matter? It is accurate and truthful that I am a fat spinster who will most likely die alone, but would you put that on a banner and fly it out where everyone can see? I would hope not.

Maybe Americans need to relearn the lesson that our parents or grandparents tried to teach us so long ago. If you can't say something nice, or positive, don't say anything at all!

Identity...

...where does it come from? So we all have birth certificates, social security cards, licenses and junk mail that identifies us by name, gender and in some cases age. But where do we get our identity from? I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I frequently struggled with how to finish the sentence; "I am ...". I wasn't a mother or wife and while I was a daughter I was one of four so it just didn't seem to be an identifier that worked for me.

Maybe I was wanting to be unique in a way that gave me value. I know that when I finally earned my Masters in Library Science, I felt a type of relief that now I had an identity. I could now finish my sentence; "I am a Librarian" and that was my identity. By now I'm sure some of you are shaking your heads and muttering about how I've put my value and identity in the wrong place. I realize that but I'm still proud to be a Librarian.

I recently heard a someone talking about the issue of identity and value. He had brought up the point that so often we feel we must do great things so that we can be identified as a person of value. I often do this in my Christian life too. I think that for God's approval I have to complete this list of expected behaviors. That God won't claim me if I don't earn my Christian identity. The Pastor that I was listening to used Matthew 3:17 to show that God puts Identity before Action.

17 And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”

This was the voice of God at Jesus' baptism. Jesus had not performed any miracles yet. He had not gathered any disciples or started His evangelical journey through the countryside yet. He had not taken any Action that would have earned Him God's favor and yet, God was pleased with Him.

All that to say that while I may not have it all down I am working towards knowing who I am. I may have earned the identity of Librarian but the identity of God's Child was given to me and all I had to do was accept it.

Reading myself into...

...a career. Do you remember when you decided what you wanted to be when you grew up? What inspired you to follow that career or life path? For me, I believe the books I read played a big part in my plans for the future.

    

Nancy Drew and the 3 Investigators helped me develop a love of mysteries and puzzles. Because of this, Police Officer and Private Investigator were high on my list of what I wanted to be. The modern and successful women in my Grandma’s Harlequins made me think that a big city career would be the direction I would go, so I added Lawyer to my possible career choices. Following my interests I earned an undergraduate degree in Criminal Justice and Communications only to discover that life isn’t as well planned out as fiction.

   

One thing that didn’t change during my search for a career was my love of a good story. Though different jobs gave me different skills and experiences, it was the books I read that helped me dream. When the opportunity came to work in a Public Library I jumped at the chance to spend my workday surrounded by books. It was this job that showed me that the perfect career for me, included a lot of fiction. While a Librarian’s job does NOT include sitting and reading all day, it does include helping people, providing information, teaching computer and research skills, and talking about books.

    

So what started as a job 16 years ago, became a career that I love. While the majority of my work days are filled with tasks that don’t revolve around books, it is the books that I enjoy most. Now when I see a book about a library or librarian I have to give it a try, because after all this is my career I’m reading about! Here are some of my favorites.

Free for All: oddballs, geeks and gangstas in the public library, by Don Bochert. The author recounts his experiences working as an assistant librarian in a public library in suburban Los Angeles, as he encounters patrons who range from bored latchkey kids left there for the afternoon, to rowdy teenagers.

I Work at a Public Library, by Gina Sheridan. Collection of strange-but-true anecdotes, heartwarming stories, and humorous interactions with patrons from a public librarian.

Open Season, by Linda Howard. Daisy Minor is bored. Worse than that, she's boring. A plain, small-town librarian, she's got a wardrobe as sexy as a dictionary and hasn't been on a date in years. She's never even had a lukewarm love affair, let alone a hot one. So when she wakes up on her thirty-fourth birthday and wonders how it is that she still lives with her widowed mom and spinster aunt while her friends have all gotten married and started families, she decides it's time to get a life.

Good Girls Do, by Cathie Linz. After his father's death, Luke Maguire returns home to Serenity Falls to take care of the family bar and, while trying to liven the town up a little, forms an unlikely alliance with Julia Wright, a sassy librarian who can read him like an open book.

Here Lies the Librarian, by Richard Peck. Fourteen-year-old Eleanor "Peewee" McGrath, a tomboy and automobile enthusiast, discovers new possibilities for her future after the 1914 arrival in her small Indiana town of four young librarians.

Louisiana Saves the Library, by Emily Beck Cogburn. Librarian Louisiana Richardson must resort to unconventional methods if she is going to save Alligator Bayou Parish's struggling library from being closed.

I've been discriminated against...

...and I'm okay with it. First, some background information. This idea started to grow after reading a review on a Sheriff Departments Facebook page about how "some people are disliked and discriminated in this city". I started thinking that I could agree with them but probably not in the way they expected. 

I abide by the laws. I do not intentionally speed, and cruise control helps keep me from unintentionally speeding. I don't take or distribute illegal substances. I do not destroy personal or public property nor do I consume anything that would alter or impair my sound judgement. Because of this, I have not had many encounters with brave men and women in law enforcement. No tall dark and handsome man, in uniform, has come to give me a ride in his cruiser or flashed me on the highway. I am okay with that and to be honest I would have a major panic attack if one did. 

I also believe I am discriminated against when it comes to retail therapy. Just because I like to eat and hate to exercise I am unable to just go into many clothing store and buy cute and affordable clothing. I actually have to do the majority of my clothes shopping online where you can't try things on and see how they look before paying. 

Have I gone protesting in the streets? Have I called for a national boycott of Khols? Have I taken the fight to court demanding that all clothing retailers sell all their styles and products in all sizes from 0-50? No. Because I am a reasonable person that understands that no one business or company can or should provide everything for everybody. (Amazon comes the closest but that's a different post) 

America has free enterprise and even though some people claim differently, I believe that business owners have the right to sell the products and services they choose. Because of this, if you don't like Big Macs you have the right, and the opportunity, to to buy Whoppers. If you love cupcakes but won't eat animal products, you can splurge at a Vegan Bakery. If you don't agree with the charitable contributions Home Depot makes, you have the option to shop at Menards or Lowes.  

In a society that is quick to cry "discrimination" let's be sure that we just don't want our own way at the expense of someone else's rights. 

How soon we forget...

...those days, not so long ago. One thing that can ruin a moment, a day, a week, or a lifetime is negative thinking. I must confess that I have fallen into the rut of always looking down instead of up. 

I was reminded of this yesterday after filling up my car at the gas station.  The tank wasn't totally running on fumes so it took just under $15 to fill it up and since I only have to do that about once a month I should be happy, right? Nope I was grumbling about having to fill up when it was cold and whining about getting out of the car one more time that morning. When I was done, God gently smacked me up side the head with the reminder "Remember when it cost $35-$40 to fill up your little car? Remember needing to spend that every 1.5 weeks?" Oh how soon we forget.

I am normally a very positive person when it comes to other people. I try to find reasons or excuses for actions and behaviors but when it comes to myself, that's when I need more smacks to the head. While I am trying to imprint the idea that my worth should alway be measured in God's eyes I still seem to struggle with judging myself on perceive successes and failures. I need to remember to take some time and reflect back. If I succeed, it probably wasn't luck or because of some random chance that everything just happened. Most likely there was a lot of learning, trial and error, gifted teachers and examples that lead to that success. If I fail, it's not because I'm a failure but probably because I haven't mastered the needed skills or it just wasn't the right time. 

Even when I feel I've failed I need to reflect on how far I've come. It may be a couple weeks and that number, which does not define my worth (repetition aids memory), has not dropped any lower. I can't allow myself to feel like a failure. If I look back I can reflect on that number dropping 5, 10, 30, 50 digits and that didn't happen in a week but through persistence and perseverance. This is especially important because my history shows that failure produces binges. Now if I can just find a way to celebrate success without bingeing I may finally be making progress.

Walking in circles...

...can get you right where you need to be. Last night I started a small group study at church based off the book, "The Circle Maker", by Mark Batterson. Mark uses his experience of starting a church in Washington DC to explain how utter dependence on God lead him to walk a prayer circle around DC.

I confess that my prayer life is one of my weakest points in my spiritual journey. I'm not sure if it is the confusion I feel between it being a sacred conversation with the Almighty God and the thought that it's as intimate as talking to my Father God. It probably comes down to the lies of Satan that I have allowed to cloud the issue and I am hoping the truths taught in this group will allow me to take a deeper step into prayer.

One point that stood out was "Don't be afraid to pray boldly". There is no greater tragedy than the prayer that goes unanswered because it goes unasked. Hannah & Elizabeth boldly prayed for a baby, blind men in Jericho boldly asked to be given sight, even Christ himself boldly prayed for a different way than His death in the garden. Boldly pray but be willing to accept God's best.

I shared how sometimes we barely have to whisper a prayer before God rushes in with an answer yet other times we can pray for the same thing for years before God's answer is more than "Wait". 18 years ago God provided a job for me before I was even looking for one. My life changed totally withing a 2 week time frame. Yet 5 years ago when I started looking for a new job in the library field it took almost 3 years, countless resumes, a dozen in person interviews and a couple of phone or Skype interviews before God's perfect plan was ready. Now that I've been in my newest job for over 2 years I can look back and see how God worked it all out so that I would end up with a job I enjoy 95% of the time, a new church family that encourages me to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ, close to my best friend for times when we need each other the most, and to the place of utter dependence on God during some personal struggles because family isn't close enough to lean on.

Whatever your need or Godly desire, pray circles around it and claim God's promises. If you are interested in reading Mark Batterson's book, check your local library or Christian bookstore. 

When feelings don't tell the truth...

...it's important to believe in more than feelings. Heard this song last night and it really spoke to me.

One of Satan's greatest tools is making us feel worthless. I've been there. I've felt it. But I KNOW that I am loved by a mighty God who saw me as someone worth dying for and now I KNOW of One who is worth living for.

A trip down memory lane...

...can lead to the funny farm. I was never one to keep a diary and attempts I have made at writing a journal have all fallen short of lasting a week. I don't know what it is about writing a blog that lasted a lot longer but even with a 3 year gap between 2013-2016 this blog goes back quite a ways.

Looking back at some of the things I have written makes me realize that while time passes on and life happens, there are a lot of things that are still the same. I still read mainly romances, I still struggle with making wise eating choices and I still feel like my life is boring most of the time.

I guess the best way to cure a boring life is to step out of your comfort zone. This is a really scary thought for me because the last time I talked to God about expanding my comfort zone (Notice I said expand and not take me out of) I ended up in Macon, Georgia working at Hephzibah Children's Home for over 2 years. One of my goals for 2016 is to once again try to venture out of my comfort zone. In areas of work that means developing new programs within the community. At church that means being willing to serve in areas I may not be comfortable in. And for my personal life it may be as stressful as leaving the house when I don't need to leave.

On the flip side, as George R. R. Martin said, "A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one." My fictional lives are awesome and the only time they bother with my comfort zone is when I'm reading a book for our Book Club.

Just because nobody misses me when I'm gone...

...doesn't mean that I won't show up again anyway.
I haven't posted here since 2013 and I haven't had any complaints about people missing my bogus thoughts at all. I'm not going to let that discourage me, because sometimes writing is a matter of self realization and not just for the entertainment of strangers.
A lot has happened since 2013. I'm living in a new State with a new job and have made new friends and become part of a new church family. Now that I'm comfortable with all that newness I'm focusing once again on a new me. After a diagnosis of sever osteoarthritis helped explain why I was spending the majority of my day in extreme pain I met with an Orthopedic to explore the options to reduce the pain. His answer was so discouraging that I went home, cried and yelled at the walls because the 'easy fix' was not an option. That's right, I said 'easy fix'. In my way of thinking it was a whole lot easier to have hip replacement surgery than to make the necessary changes needed to shed a lot of excess baggage that I have carried around all my life.
With surgery off the table until I had unpacked all that baggage, I had to decide how I wanted to spend the rest of my years. Do I work at changing habits, impulses, thought patterns and food choices or do I just take more pain pills, use a cane/walker/wheelchair and further destroy the body God gave me. Anyone who has never struggled with the practice of using food for comfort, company, entertainment and pure enjoyment may not understand the actual struggle this is to change. I'm making baby steps and trying to pick myself up every time I fall backwards. The journey is still a long one and I need to believe that the destination is going to be worth it because more often than not I miss the warm feeling that sitting on the couch eating a family size bag of Doritos brings me.

Currently reading, "Made to Crave: satisfying your deepest desire with God, not food", by Lysa TerKeurst and "Feel the Burn", by G. A. Aiken

Print vs Electronic...

...in the book world. I could ramble forever about the ups and downs of having eBooks in the library and the hoops that publishers create, but this is my personal blog and not my librarian blog so I'll just talk about me.
 I have been reading eBooks for years, even before I had a Nook or a smartphone. I would sit and read off my laptop screen, which was not convenient for reading in bed. But now that I can read straight from my phone's apps or from my Nook, eReading is a lot easier and convenient. If I'm waiting at the Chiropractor's office I can pull up my current eBook and hope to get a few pages in before my appointment. If I want to read in bed and don't want to get up and turn off the light when I get sleepy, (thereby waking myself up) I can just read from my device. It was also handy this last weekend when I could no longer wait for the library to buy the newest Shelly Laurenston book and so I bought it for my Nook.

It was fast delivery and I read it right away but there is one thing that just doesn't work for me with eBooks. See I also read Kristan Higgins new book "The Best Man" this weekend. It was a print copy from the library and reading both of these books in the same weekend brought one specific reading detail to light for me. I get more of a sense of accomplishment reading a print book than I do reading an eBook. There is just something about watching that bookmark moving through the book that means something. The closer I got to the end the more I wanted to slow down and make it last while at the same time hurry and find out what happens. When I have read the very last page, the very last paragraph, the very last sentence and the very last word, I know I have finished something.

I just don't get that from an eBook. For one thing unless you are keeping track of page numbers as you read, there is no sense of progress. On my Nook I can see that I am on ### page of ### but if the story is good I'm scrolling to fast to track pages. On my Kindle app progress is only shown when you open up the book so if you are wondering how many pages are left you have to tap out of the full page view to see the progress bar. (Actual Kindles may be different. Remember this is about me and my experiences) I also miss the sense of accomplishment when finishing an eBook. I believe it is because the end often sneaks up on me so I don't take the time to absorb how it all comes together. I can't tell you the number of eBooks that I get to the end of and just want to keep scrolling, knowing there has to be more to the story. So all that to say that I love my stories whether in print or electronic but if I want to feel like I have 'read a book' it will have to be print for me.

It's 2013...

...so far it looks and feels a lot like 2012. It sometimes amazes me how one tick of the clock or one flip of the calendar and suddenly everything is brand new. Is not every month, day, hour, minute brand new? It reminds me of birthdays were in one single day you age a whole year! That is a lot of pressure to put on somebody. Within 24 hours you need to act older, look older, be wiser and add the last 364 days to your timeline. I'm not intentionally changing anything in 2013 that I wasn't already trying to change in 2012. I'm still looking for a new job that will challenge me to grow professionally and also provide benefits. Although my fine for not having insurance would not be the 1.5 million a day that Hobby Lobby may have to pay, I really don't want to give the Government any more of my money than I have to since I don't approve of the way they are using it. Using that as a springboard to a new conversation...why can't tax payers decide what their tax money is used for? I know, we vote for the people that we believe will make the decisions as closely as we would make them ourselves, but couldn't they add a section to our 1040's where we could indicate where we would like our taxes to go? I would support road construction but I could really care less about the mating habits of the bull moose. I would support job training and skill development programs but don't want to pay people with no ambition to just sit at home and collect part of my paycheck. I hate the fact that my tax money could be used to kill babies. I don't have a problem paying taxes for police and fire protection, although I hope to never need them, I love supporting my library with tax money and schools also have to receive funding. I don't have a problem using tax money for prisons and guards but do they really need all the TV, computer, gym facilities and everything else that many law abiding citizens can't afford? Well there is my "Bogus Thoughts" thoughts for the day. I read a lot of librarian blogs and find myself asking, Why don't I write about work? The truth is each day becomes routine and while there are exciting things that happen I don't know who out there would really enjoy reading about the boring administrative things I do. Maybe you would like to hear more about the books I read but since the majority are romances not everyone would enjoy them. Besides I do one for the library at Let's Talk Books that you are invited to read and follow. So I guess this blog will just continue to be random thoughts and events. And maybe a picture or two!

This is from last winter, so far we haven't been "Blessed" with a lot of snow this year.

Bloods pumping now...

... but I'm still wondering what to write about. I was sitting here contemplating if there was anything new or exciting going on that was worth a post since it had been awhile when the library's alarm system went off. That's what happens when we set an alarm but don't lock the door :(

So know I'm back at my desk and still wondering what to write about. I have a new roommate in my basement abode and it's working out okay. All he does is sleep there and he's willing to do the dreaded household chores for a little bit of gas money!

It's not just any male that  I've allowed to move into my sacred domain, it's my 16 year old nephew who moved back to Michigan with his parents and younger brother. Mom & Dad didn't have enough room for the whole family until jobs and rental property work itself out so I get a roommate!

Christmas is upon us and most of my shopping is done. With limited resources in the family there is little gift buying. But, being the awesome librarian that I am I do get the nieces and nephs a new book or two each year. They aren't all eager readers so sometimes it takes some digging to find books that I think will peek their interests but I gotta keep at in hopes that someday they will value the gift of knowledge and entertainment.

Since I don't do the shopping-shopping-SHOPPING I will attempt to share this with those of you who do!

I have survived...

...a cross country trip, another rejection and a birthday since the last time I posted. The quick trip to CA and back went very well and the girlies traveled without any problems. My 4th job interview resulted in another letter of 'sorry we have selected another candidate' and I have pushed off the hilltop and am officially over the hill. (This blog does not endorse a one size fits all hill and acknowledges that everyone's hilltop has its own age.)

In regards to my 4th rejection, this one didn't surprise me too much as I was pretty sure I blew it as soon as we hung up the phones. I hadn't allowed myself enough time to get in the proper frame of interview-mind and also had a head cold going on. Where I thought I might have an advantage with the phone interview as they could not judge my appearance, I negated by giving stupid answers. I have 2 remaining resumes out there and I'm anxious to hear if I qualify for an interview or not. I can't really complain though as I do have a job currently even if conditions aren't ideal and I don't have any insurance, I do still have a paycheck.

My  40th year was suppose to be my year of "Big Adventure" and I'm not sure I made it although I have had a few small adventures. As mentioned I have been job searching and had 4 interviews in the last 7 months, I flew to CA even if it was only for the night, my siblings have been transitioning into different states and jobs which have moved my youngest nieces further away and 2 of my nephews closer, I've experienced some spiritual growth with the confidence that there is more in store and I have cleared a lot of clutter out of my house. While not a Big Adventure it has been a good year and I'm looking forward to another one. Unless I find out I'm dying on Monday.

One of the draw back of working in small town libraries is that not many of them offer health insurance unless they are a city library in which they offer the same benefits as all their city workers receive. That is not the case for me. As such it has been over 12 years since I have gone to see a doctor. Well there have been a couple of conditions that I have been living with that are now becoming to big to ignore so I'm breaking into my saving and hoping the Doc I see will work with me and not bleed me dry. (Physically or financially) So we will see what happens but I hope there will be good news along with all the bad. Blessings to all and if I don't post again, Merry Christmas.

This is the great adventure...

...flying 2 kids across the country! It's still almost a month away but I'm already having dreams about everything that could go wrong. Here's the scoop, my sister and brother-in-law got jobs in CA. Naturally this means moving the whole family; beds, books and broomsticks. So how do 2 adults and 2 children under 10 go from Michigan to California?
Moving truck can hold belongings but doesn't come equipped with seating for 4 and sending one adult on the road by himself would cause major stress and sleepless nights for the whole family. The family budget can't afford to ship all the belongings while the family flies (current vehicles wouldn't make the trip) so what is the family to do?????
Enter the footloose and favorite Aunt who opened her mouth and suggested the adults drive out in the moving truck and then someone (probably her) could fly the girlies out after they are moved into their new house. So there it is! In less than a month I'm taking a 6 and a 9 year old to Detroit and flying off to San Jose. Now granted I've flown a few times before but never with children who are easily bored and one who has a tendency to get distracted and not stay close.
But this is one way to help my fellow man and the benefit of loving my family. The good news is that it will give me 2 extra weeks with my youngest nieces before they are no longer able to 'come over' to visit.
California here I come on an airplane wing and a prayer!

God sighting...

...just when I needed it. Okay here's the back story. I'm heading to Indiana for the weekend and I'm told there's suppose to be rain all the way :(
While traveling I'm listening to the audio book "Women Food and God". Something in the book got me thinking about my tendency to either try to earn love & acceptance by 'good behavior' (aka dieting/eating healthy) or to test the love by destructive behavior (aka bingeing) to prove I'm unworthy.
So I started praying aloud that God would remind me of how much He loved me (regardless of what i look like)and that I would recognize it when He did.
So there I was less than an hour from home, a steady drizzle has kept my wipers on slow delay when I realize its stopped and the sun is shining. "Hey God you gave me sunshine to travel in you sure answered prayer fast."
As I dig out my sunglasses my disc ends and I pop it out of the player to hear the song "Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging..." WOW
No rain the rest of the trip even though I saw a lot of puddles the sun kept shining right up until the last 30 minute and then it stayed dry and God gave my another sign of His love.

Change isn't happening as fast as I hoped...

...but that doesn't mean it isn't coming. During my vacation this month I traveled to Indiana and interviewed for a Library Director's job. I liked the library, I liked the staff, I even liked the area and I think they liked me but I still didn't get the job. I knew going into the interview that according to policy and circumstances I wouldn't be able to leave my current position until the end of July beginning of August and they needed someone ASAP. I think that was the main problem (but I guess it could be they didn't like the way I part my hair). For not being part of the job searching market it was actually a nice chance to get my feet wet and brush up on my interviewing skills. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter whether I got the job or not since I am currently employed and I'm just looking for an advancement in my career but let me tell you it didn't matter.
When I got the email saying they selected someone else I still cried a little and felt depressed. I took off for a day at the beach the very next day, and there is definitely some healing quality to watching and listening to water as it rolls onto the sand. (If I hadn't been so depressed maybe I would have done a better job with my sunscreen application and not burned so badly) Having my hopes crushed Being disappointed has never been easy for me so of course this littler foray of emotional plummeting resulted in not losing weight over the last 2 weeks after an initial drop of 6 pounds. I've got to find my mo-jo again and start being excited about the opportunities of life whether they are here in Lakeview or some other little town in the great USA.

Here are some pics from my lovely day at the beach in Ludington, MI

 Sand so clean it squeaked

 The Badgar

Following the Leader Statues

Change is in the air...

...and it's looking stormy. Life is going crazy lately as I'm having a midlife crisis at 40. I've started a new weight-loss regime, using Visalus Body by V, and I'm sending out resumes to pie in the sky job opportunities. The weight-loss has been a life long struggle and this is one more chapter in my efforts to not die before I'm 50. The job search is a half hearted attempt to prove to myself that I don't have to stay in a bad work environment out of fear of change.

Some changes I love, especially those that I initiate myself out of creative inspiration, other times change can bring our my anxiety disorder. Is there an easy way to accept or embrace change no matter what it is? Is it healthy to never question change? Are there things that should never change? (The Bible is of course exempt from change because the message never changes although delivery methods do)

I recently read an article about icons that use images that are archaic and unrecognizable by the newest generation. How much longer will it be before the connection between the 'save' icon and the the floppy disc are totally obsolete? Why does the phone icon look like the old rotary phone receiver when most cell phone users never used a rotary phone? How many Instagram users have used an actual Polaroid camera? What does a clipboard have to do with pasting data? Why does the microphone icon use an old fashion radio style mic? As you can see there are times for change but at the same time there is something to be said for nostalgia and vintage renewal.

So change for change sake may not always be the best choice but being afraid of change can also cause you to miss out on something exciting.

 

Picture for Picture Sake

Recent change at TDL, mural painted by Jeanne Merriman

It's been a long time...

...but that's what happens when life becomes routine. There is nothing to write about so I'll just share this instead.

 

My niece's fashion sense has infiltrated the college spring break crowd!

A social addict...

...who doesn't like social events. Now there's a dilemma for you. How can I be a social addict if I don't like being around people? It's this wonderful thing called technology! I may not use my iPhone to call people but I use it several times a day to check up on facebook statuses, see what's happening on Instagram, and browse through the latest pins to Pinterest.
The sad part is that it's not just about keeping in touch with other people and staying connected. I get some weird validation when my posts, pictures and pins are liked, commented on and repinned. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to know that I said, saw or saved something that people responded to. Does this make me egotistical? The strange thing is if someone were to complement me or respond in person to something I said or did I'm more likely to brush it off or be embarrassed by the attention but if it's in the virtual world I get thrilled.
So if you really want to make my day leave a comment on my blog or share my pin.

Gloom, despair and agony on me...

...because I'm a librarian. I didn't realize it when I started this profession but there are a lot of negative thinkers in this profession. Granted things are totally rosy for libraries as funding cuts are always happening and services have to be cut to fit available budgets but it's not the end of libraries!

The newest gloom and doom is the fiasco with ebooks in libraries. Only 2 of what is considered the "Big Six" of book publishers allows libraries to purchase their ebooks for lending and one of them has a circulation limit on their books that would require libraries to reorder. As a result the library blogs and publications are once again facing the negative and wanting to fight back. Well I'm all for getting everything we can for our patrons but at the same time I realize that we CAN'T get EVERYTHING for our patrons so we provide what we can and work to keep growing and serving.

I realize that I'm not always the most positive person around but I've really noticed that other people's  attitudes really impact my own. Yes I know I'm responsible for my own actions and attitude and no can make me have a bad attitude but face it, if your around it long enough it seeps in and starts seeping out.
Well enough ranting for today. I shall attempt to be cheerful and find the positive side of librarianship!