...faults. I'm not intentionally on a journey to self discovery but as I fight with myself to discover why I'm an emotional eater and self improvement saboteur I've discovered a few things. I'm a lazy, judgmental, fearful individual.
1. Lazy. I've always looked at it as being creative but really I look for the shortest and easiest way to get things done. Sure it doesn't take as long to do things my way but I'm not putting as much effort into doing it either. Are the end results as good as they could be? Sometimes efficiency in necessary but when it is easier to sit down with the whole bag of pretzels than to go measure out a serving and put it in a bowl, it doesn't always end the way it should. Besides using a bowl makes another dish to be washed! (See I'm lazy because I don't even wash my dishes, that's what my sister is for! LOL)
2. Judgmental. I've always believed that what I believe to be right should be right for everyone. I still believe that sin is sin but is everything that is a sin for me a sin for you? Are there gray areas that aren't addressed as a "Thou shalt..." or Thou shalt not..." that are left to personal convictions? I guess the issues that bother me the most are drinking and smoking. The Bible definitely speaks about being a drunkard but what about those who enjoy a social drink or antisocial drink yet never have become addicted to alcohol? Is it still a sin? Smoking is only mentioned once in the Bible when 'Rachel lit off her camel' yet because it is harmful to the 'temple' some consider it a sin. Gluttony is frequently mentioned in the Bible as a sin & I've been guilty of that my whole life yet never felt spiritually condemned by it as some people do drinking and smoking.
3. Fearful. I am afraid to try things where I'm not assured of success or acceptance. With weight loss this has been a big one because what happens if I lose weight yet the things I think will change don't? My motto is, "It is better to have never tried, than to try and fail". I don't like to change hairstyles or clothing styles because, "what if it looks worse than I already do" is never far from my mind. Going alone is also something I don't like doing. I'm fine with living single but when it comes to going places or new experiences, I still want someone to hold my hand and handle all the tasks where I could say or do something wrong. Which leads to another thing I fear. I don't like being wrong. I believe that is why I never voluntarily answered questions in college.
I guess if I know what my faults are, I then am obligated to work on them. I realize I can't do that on my own so I've started praying more and being aware of when I tend to fall into these ruts. But I'm afraid that if God helps me correct these faults, He will then bring others to light and I'll have to start all over again. So do you agree, is it better to never have tried than to have tried and failed?
1 comment:
Cher- it isn't so bad failing. What is the worst case scenario of your failing at something? Fail at work, going to get fired (probably not), fail at home, going to get kicked out (who's going to do the kicking) fail at church, who will hold you up as an example (no one as they all have their failures too).
It is hard to go beyond our comfort zones, but as someone who enjoys food knows, you won't know if you like it if you don't try it!!
BTW there is always someone around somewhere who has been there and done that and would be willing to walk with you through it. IE. if you need someone to go out and do something with you, i volunteer.
Chin up, spirits up. God is able to do more than we could ever ask, or even think of asking! He is good ALL THE TIME!
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